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Eulogy for A Wife

Nobody sees a flower — really — it is so small it takes time — we haven’t time — and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.- Georgia O’Keeffe

My dear Mary Ann left this world on Saturday, June 19th in her beloved home encircled by the love of her dear ones.  Mary Ann and I were fortunate enough to share many wonderful years together, but all the same, I feel as though I would do anything to be able to have more time with her. Sometimes it seems as though we had always known one another, but in fact we met rather late in life, when we were both in graduate school at OU. We started out on a class project together, and that project grew to encompass the next 40 years. Even in School, Mary Ann’s work stood out. She had an artistic eye and a knack for designing spaces.  When we graduated, she started up her business.  Her reputation for refined designs that fit the varied personalities of her clients kept her busy for the rest of her life.   Our home changed often, but it was always a colorful, cozy refuge.  In it, you could always find lively conversation, hospitality and the smell of fresh coffee.  She loved to talk about her work, and the books she was always reading.  She had a true passion for beautiful old things; especially moldings, doors, tapestries, china, linens and pottery. She could spend all weekend in antique stores, and did so on many occasions. Other interests included music. She played the clarinet and especially enjoyed the music of Lionel Hampton. Cooking was important to her and her ‘pipar kokur’ cookies were famous. Gardening, flowers and traveling were other hobbies. Along the way, she was a loving and devoted wife, who seemed to always have time to think about me and help me with my own work. She will be remembered for her curiosity, her compassion, and her humor. Though she never really stopped working or thinking like a designer, in the last few years, Mary Ann came to devote more and more of her creative energy to passing on the wealth of her knowledge and experience to a new generation, and it is this that will be her lasting legacy.

I would like to thank all of the dear ones, the group of devoted friends that gave us strength and laughter during these most difficult days. Mary Ann’s spirit was a part of you and will always be so. Before we go out onto the lawn to take in this beautiful evening, I’d like to share a poem with you:

I give you this one thought to keep
I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you still. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
So not think of me as gone I am with you still
in each new dawn.

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